Omg I’ve been trying to write this long, drawn out post about a really depressing argument my mom and I had yesterday but I keep erasing it because I can’t really find an eloquent way to word all of this but I think the people who matter will know exactly what I’m talking about. Basically we got into a fight about the word “tranny” and it just left me so stunned and numb and I decided to sleep on it before blogging about it. It’s still gnawing at me hard today so I want to just shit all over these things that my mom said to me yesterday (and says pretty much every single time my gender stuff is being discussed):
1) “This is America, Michael. People have the right to use whatever words they choose. You don’t get to tell people how to talk.” God, really?
2) “But you say hateful things about straight people all the time so you’re a hypocrite and a bigot too.”
3) Her emotionally manipulative response to being timidly told she doesn’t seem to understand how hurtful she can be towards me when discussing my gender stuff: “How dare you, I’m almost 50 years old, I support you completely (lol mom no), you don’t get to tell me how I can and can’t talk, you’re an asshole,”
4) After saying she now understands exactly why she shouldn’t use the word “tranny”, she continues to use it multiple times in a sentence, while also repeating the phrase “transvestite, tranny, transgenders…whatever the word is.” I tell her “ok well if you’ve really learned why you shouldn’t say it, then why do you keep saying it?” To which she angrily snaps “You know what, YOU are so hateful. I can’t stand you. I don’t have to agree with everything that you say! You drive people away like this! You need to learn to let some things go or you’re going to lose all of your friends!”
5) After the peak of the argument I kind of just shut down and wouldn’t look at her or speak to her any more because I wanted to cry and she just kept prodding and poking me even after I said please just drop it, I want to be left alone, I don’t want to have this discussion anymore. “Oh so I guess you just hate me now. What’s the matter with you? Huh? Do you want to keep shopping or do you want to go home? You want to be left alone??? God I’d rather just go home than be in the car with someone who fucking hates me. What is wrong with you? Stop being an asshole. No YOU’RE an asshole.”
6) This whole notion of pretending to be genuinely interested in this discussion despite showing that she is only capable of turning into an argument, making it all about her feelings and about her “rights being restricted by me”, being emotionally manipulative and violent, and just trying to force me to continue having the argument when I have already stated that I have officially walked away from this painful dialogue and no longer wish to discuss it.
God this post is so disjointed but I had to type it out or it was going to eat me alive from the inside out.
- saveuntitled said: I just wanted to give you the biggest fucking hug when I read through all of this. :C
- prawnmael likes this
- purplemartian likes this
- skullvomit said: Aww I’m sorry you had to go through that.
- skullvomit likes this
- thedisreputabledog said: That is awful. :( I’m so sad you went through that.
- boyqueen said: ugh that is so fucked I’m sorry boo. How dare she turn your request for human decency it into a tirade about you ~telling ppl how to talk~. Doesn’t she know you’re a GODDESS? And she’s just boring?
- sourdemon said: this conversation happens (to a lesser degree) with my parents + i on the regs. makes me want to barf glitter all over them until i drown out the sound of their asshole voices
- mermeanie likes this
- nicbravo said: Sounds just someone I know! Yr gonna survive this. <3
- gracelizabetty likes this
- chasingdunamis said: fuck…bb…UGH *hugs*
- reverendmother likes this
- reverendmother said: Ugh. Bb. I’m sorry this happened. I fear this very conversation with everyone in my life. *hughughug*
- sixtyforty posted this