The LHC has nothing to do with trying to find the higgs boson, it’s actually a massive effort to catch a fleeting glimpse of the cave on mars where Sascha and I originate from but THE EXPENSIVE JOKE IS ON YOU BECAUSE MARS DOESN’T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. WE DESTROYED ALL EVIDENCE OF OUR HOME PLANET UPON OUR DEPARTURE AND REPLACED IT WITH A GIANT RED CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF MARS AND WE NEGLECTED TO TELL YOU. YOUR PUNY PARTICLE DETECTORS MAKE US GIGGLE LIKE SMALL EARTH CHILDREN CREATURES.
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