E CONCHIS OMNIA

Anonymous asked: Do you consider it wrong for gay people to get along with straights?

I think it’s violent to expect queer people be the ones to make the effort to get along with all straight people. I have been beaten unconscious, forcing me to pay for CT scans of my skull to check for brain damage, by a man three times my size who told the police I was hitting on him (even though I had never even met him before the moment where his huge fist came in contact with the spot where my skull meets my spine). I have been physically accosted, choked and called names because of the way that I dress. I have frequently been imitated and mocked by male bar employees and even the owner of a bar because of the way my voice sounds. I have faced homophobia in the office before. My supervisor said if we couldn’t get along, he’d fire both of us. I’ve had strangers leaving notes on my house telling me that they “know faggots live here.” Kids my little brothers went to school with have shown up to our house and screamed at us to come out and fight them because they know I’m a faggot. I have been told my entire life by straight people that I am going to hell. Do you have any idea what it’s like to grow up believing that hell is a real, physical place and everyone you know is telling you that you’ll end up there when you die? Do you have any idea what those thoughts can do to the mind of a child or a teenager? I have had my gender identity mocked, scoffed at, dismissed and belittled constantly by straight people, some of whom I consider my closest friends. Do you know what it’s like to feel erased by your best friends? Do you honestly believe I have a responsibility to attempt to “get along” with the people I just described above? Because of these experiences, I have adopted a “guilty until proven innocent” stance toward straight people (actually, it goes for almost all people.) To call themselves a friend or an ally, or to expect me to get along with them, they must prove to me that I can feel safe, emotionally and physically, around them. Considering my life experiences, I don’t believe this is unreasonable, and if you think it is I don’t really give a shit. There are straight people who I love and adore, but only because they have proven themselves worthy. Obviously my experiences do not reflect the thoughts and actions of every single straight person, just the vast majority of them. And that’s more than enough for me to consider “guilty until proven innocent” the best and safest way to live my life.

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