September 2012
I just went to the gas station to use the ATM and as I'm walking in two threatening, white, underage, loitering dudes asked me if I could buy them some beer. I politely said "No, sorry, thanks" (Thanks??? Why am I so awkward?) So they called me a "gay ass motherfucker." This made me totally rethink my initial reaction to them so I immediately went inside and bought them a six pack apiece, vigorously shook their hands and thanked them graciously for helping me see how wrong I was to deny these brave young men what I so clearly owed them.
August 2012
Trans body part swap meet at my house tonite y'all.
Body modifications that I know I want (possible TW for dysphoria or maybe just TMI):
- Orchiectomy. If I did this, I would want HRT to replace the function of my testes. Some of you probably already know that I’ve been wishy washy about “female” HRT and as a result have decided to not take that course of action. I actually like (most of) my body and the way it functions (minus the anxiety and depression, obv.) But I’ve been thinking about this for quite awhile and I REALLY want to get rid of my goddamn balls. Does anyone want them? Maybe I could display them in a jar or wear them as earrings.
- Nipple removal. Not because I think they are ugly or because they cause me any distress, but I really like the way that it looks.
- This one is absurdly minor, but really important to me: GETTING MY EARS PIERCED. When I think about all of the piercings I’ve had (snakebites, septum, surface piercing on chest, two frenum piercings and a future PA) I wonder why the hell I haven’t already pierced my damn ears. Plus I’m tired of seeing amazingly beautiful earrings and wishing I could wear them. I WILL wear them goddamnit!
I’m at work and my whole body is in so much pain that it feels like my bones are trying to crawl out of my skin. I’m so tired of being in pain all the time for no reason and not being able to do anything about it and feeling like a hypochondriac. This bullshit fucking hurts. Is it a symptom of depression? Is it something else? What the hell is wrong with me?
WHEN WILL I TURN AND CUT THE WORLD?
just gonna leave this here
if you casually talk about “misandry” and “castration” in the same breath, you’re doing it wrong
Do you like poetry?
Sometimes, but most of the time I’d just rather watch Battlestar Galactica because I’m too lazy to pretend not to be an uncultured slob.
“According to Mother Teresa’s bizarre philosophy, it is ‘the most beautiful gift for a person that he can participate in the sufferings of Christ.’ Once she tried to comfort a screaming sufferer: ‘You are suffering, that means Jesus is kissing you!’ The man got furious and screamed back: ‘Then tell your Jesus to stop kissing!’”
—“India has no reason to be grateful to Mother Teresa” (via searchingforavila)
On trigger warnings and my blog.
Sometimes I’m so fucking blinded with rage (to put it lightly) that I don’t even think to put a TW on some of the almost certainly potentially triggering shit I have to write about to keep myself from exploding or doing something self destructive. I’m trying to get better at remembering trigger warnings because I know how much I appreciate it myself when others use them. I have no right not to at least return the favor for my own posts. So I just wanna say thanks to the people who remind me and call me out on that shit when it needs to be done. I love this place and I love you all and I need to remember to be tender more often because so many of you have been so precious and tender towards me more often than I probably deserve.
*general trigger warning*
Lol fuck my unsympathetic, hateful, heartless, hypocritical, miserly fucking father. I don’t have daddy issues, my dad has issues. My mom is in the hospital again because her MS is getting worse. New lesions on the brain and her bladder retaining urine keeps popping up again and the insurance won’t approve the interstim surgery she desperately needs and all my dad can do is curse at her and scream and say she doesn’t need to be in the hospital and blames all of her health issues on some of her habits (smoking cigarettes and drinking coke and good god even taking the pain meds she has to have to even get out of bed in the morning .) LOL because if she’d stop doing that, the newest lesions on her corpus callosum would magically disappear right? Her bulging disks and rheumatoid arthritis would just disappear? No dad, don’t ask why they haven’t at least tried medication for urinary retention yet to see if that stops her from needing catheterization all the time to stop the excruciating pain and terrifying experience of an insanely full bladder that won’t let her piss. Don’t investigate what it would cost to get any kind of home nurse care to help her with catheters so she doesn’t have to go to the ER every time this happens. Don’t help her try to get social security or disability because she’s incapable of working anymore. Just yell and curse at her because of how much it’s costing to keep her functioning and alive. I can’t remember a single time in my life when I didn’t wish that my parents would get divorced. I fucking hate my father. I told him after coming home from seeing my mom in the hospital tonight that when he ends up in the hospital for liver failure because of how much whiskey he sucks down every night (my 100lb mother has had to pick his 250+lb drunken passed out ass up from the bathroom floor multiple times), or is diagnosed with mouth cancer because he has to have chewing tobacco in his mouth even when he is SLEEPING, to not expect me to come visit him in the hospital or have any sympathy for him whatsoever. I wouldn’t even come to his funeral to piss on his grave. How dare he blame some of her unhealthy habits (that aren’t even the cause of her health problems, though they certainly don’t help) for this debilitating and degenerative disease she’s going through and will suffer from until it inevitably kills her when he’s no better - and probably even worse - in the vice department. Don’t try to help her cut back or quit, just berate her like a fucking child. I wish he would fucking die already so this house could be paid off and we could collect the life insurance and I’d never have to hear or see him again. Fuck you dad. It’s a pity there isn’t a hell for people like you to rot in.
ur an ugly toilet face whore xx
PABLO U MADE ME CRY. I NO IT WAS U HU SENT ME DAT ANON HATE. W8 PABLO SUM 1 ELSE IS CALLING….HELLO? ROBBIE I NO U SENT ME DAT MESG PABLO TOLD ME. WE RNT FRENDS NOW.
“Let’s get one thing out of the way: Mexican immigration is an oxymoron. Mexicans are indigenous. So, in a strange way, I’m pleased that the racist folks of Arizona have officially declared, in banning me alongside Urrea, Baca, and Castillo, that their anti-immigration laws are also anti-Indian. I’m also strangely pleased that the folks of Arizona have officially announced their fear of an educated underclass. You give those brown kids some books about brown folks and what happens? Those brown kids change the world. In the effort to vanish our books, Arizona has actually given them enormous power. Arizona has made our books sacred documents now.”
—Sherman Alexie
Academic opacity
stop
I strongly identify with asparagus ferns because they are simultaneously tender and toxic.
3eme Sexe
Miss Kittin
Miss Kittin - 3eme Sexe
hey why does my entire body hurt all the time
comically effeminate as a lyfestyle
comically effeminate as a means of survival
comically effeminate as sexual tool
FATTIES IN LITTLE TO NO CLOTHING AS A SIGN OF GIVING UP PRETENDING THEY AREN'T BEAUTIFUL
Play
“Every 36 hours in the United States one Black woman, man or child is killed by police, and by a smaller number of security guards and self-appointed vigilantes. These are the startling findings of a new and now updated report on Extrajudicial Killings of Black People released July 9, 2012 and updated July 16, 2012.”
—http://www.peopleofcolororganize.com/activism/general/update-36-hours-extrajudicial-killings-black-women-men-report/ (via queergiftedblack)
It only rains right after I water all of my succulents (*｀へ´*)
19 people shot in overnight shootings across Chicago →
articles.chicagotribune.com
Nineteen people were shot across the South and West sides from Thursday evening through early Friday morning — 13 of them wounded over a 30-minute period, authorities say.
The overnight shootings peaked between 9:15 p.m. and 9:45 p.m. That’s when eight people, many of them teens, were shot at 79th Street and Essex Avenue about 9:30 p.m.
Then two men were wounded in the Ida B. Wells / Darrow Homes complex at about 9:25 p.m., police said. The men, 27 and 33, were shot in the 600 block of East 37th Street and taken to the University of Chicago Hospitals, police said. The younger man was shot in the head and the other in the right arm, Gaines said.
Around the same time, two other men were wounded in the arms in a drive-by shooting in the 2900 block of West 39th Place in the Brighton Park neighborhood.
About 15 minutes later, a 24-year-old man was shot in the leg and taken to Jackson Park Hospital from the 7200 block of South Jeffery Boulevard, Gaines said. He was treated and released. The man told police he was talking on his phone when he heard a single shot and realized he was wounded.
ACAT
ALL COPS ARE TERRORISTS
