Is your faith really so weak that it can’t even withstand the words I type on my pathetic blog?
Hahaha. A lady at work told me to “HAVE A BLESSED EASTER.” No thanks, lady.
- Me: I wish Easter was on a weekday so we could have the day off.
- Boss: But Christ wasn't born on a weekday.
- Me: ...
I’m not ready for the world to die just yet, but I’m ready to laugh hysterically on the 22nd of May at the thought of how much money must have been wasted on this absurd campaign and all the other, more “Christianly” things the money could have been used for. If the world dies now, think of all the cults I won’t get to witness embarrassing themselves over and over again. I live for this.
I mean, first of all you can say that Jesus suffered, but he didn’t really suffer any more than a lot of other people have suffered. I could think of examples in my own family. My brother Mike, who had cancer, suffered unspeakably for a very long time. Eye lids freezing open and his eyes drying up, canker sores all over his throat and he couldn’t swallow, weeks and weeks and then months of gut wrenching vomiting and nausea, before he then died.
So, okay, Jesus suffered. He apparently suffered terribly. For one, maybe even two days. I heard someone say once, “Jesus had a really bad weekend for our sins.”
I thought, “Why would a God create people so imperfect, then blame them for their own imperfections, then send his son to be tortured and executed by those imperfect people, to make up for how imperfect people were and how imperfect they inevitably were going to be?” What a crazy idea.
I looked at the Crucifix, and for the first time instead of seeing a symbol of transcendence and compassion, I saw a horrible execution device. What kind of God sends his son to be tortured and killed like that? Oh, I guess it is the God of the Old Testament, that’s exactly who would do something like that.
But when I looked at Jesus as just a guy, just a human, just this impassioned young idealist who lost his temper a lot, but who could also wax on teary eyed about loving your neighbor and helping the poor, and because his ideas were so outspoken it threatened those in power, who ordered him to be tortured and killed…. And then reading how Jesus died, astonished and heartbroken that his own God abandoned him, his story became so tragic.
Jesus’ life and death made me want to go out and campaign for free speech, not sit in a church and worship him!” —Julia Sweeney, Letting Go of God.
I got all these followers who seem to be huge Lady Gaga fans after criticizing her lyrics the other day. It makes me feel like I’m about to be ambushed in the dark or something.
toward the queerest insurrection (via eastofethan)
This post is brought to you by the continued use of intellectually flimsy religious themes in the music of Lady Gaga (of whom I consider myself a fan, but not an uncritical sycophant.)
I think Judas gets a bad rap. Why is Judas in hell? Isn’t it true that if Judas had not betrayed Jesus as prophesied, Jesus would never have become the scapegoat onto which humanity could cast its sins? What would God have done to Judas if he had not fulfilled the prophesy? Was Judas damned if he did, damned if he didn’t? If it was predetermined by God that Judas would perform this act, what does this say about free will? If it was predetermined by God that Judas would perform this act, then isn’t he essentially being punished by God for acting in accordance with the will of God? Is God such a capricious bastard that he would pull all the strings and then punish his puppets? While Jesus had a really bad weekend in hell and was resurrected without even a hangover, Judas will supposedly suffer in the jaws of Satan for all eternity. Which of these two men truly sacrificed themselves so that humanity could be “redeemed”?
“I LIKE TO GO TO PEOPLE’S BLOGS AND WHINE ANONYMOUSLY ABOUT THE, IN MY OPINION, MEDIOCRE CONTENT OF THOSE BLOGS INSTEAD OF SIMPLY NOT VISITING THOSE BLOGS ANYMORE. I THINK MY UNSOLICITED OPINION MATTERS.”
Meet outback in 10 minutes if you want to see me beat human-activities to death with an autoharp.
- Stephen Colbert: Are there any myths you'd like to test, but can't?
- Adam Savage from Mythbusters: Well, we did a whole episode on busting the conspiracy theory that the moon landing was faked and there are some people who are still unconvinced, so we would love to, if time and money were no object, build a spaceship, go to the moon and come back with a piece of Apollo hardware all in one take.