January 2009
Eat a Goddamned Sandwhich
I’m waiting for the day when it will be “in” for boys to not be disgustingly rail thin. I look forward to a time where the trend will be for boys to weigh more than 130 fucking pounds. I dream of a place where the boys from BUTT and PINUPS magazine fly circles around me and go “haaaaay gurl! let’s go to the roller rink!”
Mmmmm otters.
SXSW
SO FAR:
“I guess there’s just two kinds of people Mrs. Sandstone: my kind of...”
– Connie Marble, a jealous pervert.
GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER, YOU BITCH.
I’m not sure if I just took a lunesta or a xanax but either way I’m happy.
When Holden and I were about to leave to the Northwest for our New Years trip, I was really nervous about flying so I took one and a half xanax before we left for the airport. I realized this was a mistake when I woke up on a plane three or four hours later not knowing where I was. I had knitting needles in my...
Generally Inappropriate
I just had a conversation with my friend (he’s an English teacher, and also a faggot.) He has informed me that Pride and Prejudice is “one of the best books ever written.”
I must confess I have never read Pride and Prejudice. However, I have consumed my fair share of jagerbombs so I still believe that my previous post is completely justified.
My friend, the English teacher,...
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Pride and Prejudice (the book) and zombies (the undead) are two things that totally suck on their own. Kind of like Jagermeister (the most foul liquid known to humankind) and Red Bull (the other most foul liquid known to humankind). However, combine them and you get totally drunk. So Pride and Prejudice and Zombies may be the Jagerbomb of books, or I’ve had too much to drink.
Either way,...
